Praise & Encouragement

My 3rd grader came home with his semester report card yesterday and it was wonderful, as always.  I am always a little torn about how to discuss his “effort” (A’s) for each of the main topics (English, Math, Science etc.).  I like that he enjoys school and loves to learn and I want it always to be like this.  I don’t want him being “good” just for the grade.  So I try not to make a big deal about his report card.  Although I do comment that he must be enjoying school and that it appears that he’s been a good student and is learning lots.  I guess what I do is open the conversation so that he can do most of the talking and reflecting.  It makes him feel good to read the comments too, so it’s not just all about the grade.

This reminded me of a good program I watched online a while back (2009) with some great guest speakers, including Barbara Coloroso.  At one point, about half way through, Coloroso talks about not being proud of her kids and that “proud” is the wrong word to use.  I am still struggling with whether I like this idea or not, although I do understand what Coloroso is trying to say here.  What do you think?

…and here’s one for my son, for fun! 🙂

One comment on “Praise & Encouragement

  1. I don’t know that we can proud for our children, but I think we can proud of their accomplishments. Being proud of something they do helps them to understand the worth of what they are doing and to internalize that worth. I think another key aspect might be to be proud of their effort. Resiliency and self-efficacy grow out of learning to get up, shake the dust off, and come at the task a little differently. This is quite different than self-esteem.


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